5 Unconventional Methods to Revitalise Your Relationship

This is a collaborative post.

You’ve reached that stage in your relationship where you eat, sleep, and repeat every day together. Although it marks a certain level of comfort and trust in one another, it can also damage your relationship because of the monotony and missing “spark.”

Luckily, there are a few ways to get those butterflies fluttering right back into your stomach and revive the lost excitement in your lives.

Always remember that this part of a relationship is somewhat inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you can’t experiment to make things better!

Why Try To Revitalize Your Relationship?

In simple words, renewal and rejuvenation play a massive role in the growth and development of the relationship, as well as each individual on their own. The time we spend with a significant other can be life’s most excellent teaching and learning experiences. When we apply this to a relationship that isn’t working properly, it shows effort and consistency.

Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, the time spent understanding each other and renewing our perspectives will help us start different but healthy relationships in the future. Similarly, trying out new things helps one understand their needs, goals, and desires, allowing them to communicate better and find someone who truly makes them happy.

Here are 5 techniques you can try to reignite the spark.

Miss Each Other With Time Apart

As counterproductive as this may sound, doing things separately or spending time apart is just as crucial as doing shared activities together. Distance also creates desire and gives each other space because it can make you realise how you miss each other.

Getting “too” comfortable and spending every waking hour with each other is bound to create some form of suffocation in a relationship, whether you address it or not. So, make some plans with your friends, pick a new hobby, take a solo trip or something on your own and for yourself.

Indulge in Unique Experiences

Date nights are a classic way to spend time together, and it’s no surprise that these can seem a little too “repetitive.” Staleness in a relationship could simply stem from the lack of ingenuity, and one of the best pieces of advice out there to relight the spark is to try new things as a couple.

Whether discovering something you want to try together or surprising your partner with a spontaneous weekend getaway, you can never go wrong by trying something completely new. Studies suggest that something as simple as cuddling can release oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, so you can only imagine how happy you’ll feel with new shared experiences! Plus, this also helps to create memories and a stronger bond between you and your partner.

Adrenaline To Spike The Excitement

Studies conducted over the years have proven that adrenaline increases attraction.

Of course, there is always a balance. Relationships can’t survive on excitement alone as that isn’t realistic. However, you could try something more unconventional now and again - if you’re both comfortable with it.

Luckily, there are platonic, companionship-only male escort services where you can go on a “pretend” date with this person while your significant other plays along to reclaim the love of their life. Yes, this one is a little beyond the norm but can be a fun one to try. You just have to ensure that both people are on board and where the boundaries lie.

Talk Intimately And Get Comfortable

Having more vulnerable and meaningful conversations with your partner where you can discover each other on a deeper level can lead to increased intimacy for both of you. Even if you’ve been with someone for years, staying genuinely interested in them by hearing their thoughts, experiences, feelings, and expectations maintains that spark.

It is also equally important to voice your feelings and desires. Intimacy isn’t just about what goes on in the bedroom. It’s about the mental and emotional closeness between a couple and their ability to get comfortable with each other without any judgment.

Remember, Revist, And Relive

Remember the early days of your relationship when everything seemed magical and fresh? Well, taking a stroll down memory lane and revisiting some romantic gestures and activities that brought you close in the first place can help a great deal. All the butterflies, thrilling dates, stolen kisses, and long hugs could mean a lot if you bring it back to your relationship.

Unfortunately, over time, people tend to forget the very reason why they fell in love with each other and start focusing on their partner’s flaws and negative qualities that they don’t like. Instead, revisiting good memories and incorporating them into your relationship will show you how you can appreciate each other more and learn along the way.

To Conclude

In the search for the “perfect partner,” we often forget that sometimes it’s also about the effort we put into our romantic relationships. Every individual is unique, and by coming together as a couple, you accept them for who they are but also grow together in a way that is good for both of you. That often involves breathing new life into your connection - whether you’ve been together for just one year or ten!

Anxiety about being Single in your 30's?

I was talking to a guy friend recently and the conversation turned to relationships, dating in your 30's and how things become a little different. I know when I came out of my last relationship, I definitely felt that pressure of now being single in my 30's when everyone around me seemed to be doing the marriage, babies and settling thing. (Even as a coach, I get the same niggling insecurities, believe me!). He was saying how now he's had a couple of years single after his last relationship and knows he wants the marriage, kids and feels that pressure too, but is scared that he hasn't sorted himself out enough to offer that to someone. So he's resisting and holding back, yet still knows he wants it and isn't sure how to bridge that gap.

We're complicated creatures aren't we!

The thing is, dating at whatever age should ultimately be an opportunity to meet new people, have new experiences and figure out what you want/don't want.

But tell that to someone who is desperate to settle down and feeling the pressure; it's not exactly the ideal piece of advice they want to hear! Things are shifting in my own life at the moment and it's made me think about this - relationships, what I really want and as someone who has felt that slight anxiety at times about being single in my 30's, here are a few things I've learned.

It really does start with you

Anxieties about relationships can reveal a lot about other things. We can look to finding the perfect relationship to fix the other stuff going on in life - the things we feel we lack or the things that aren't working for us. My friend just mentioned is unhappy in his job and feels stuck. It's not a great feeling for him but because he's become so aware of it, it's made him realise that perhaps that's why he's scared to let someone else into his life. His view is that he's not the best man he can be whilst he's so unhappy with a major part of his life. I think that makes total sense.

I'm not saying that once he finds a better job, the relationship will all of a sudden click into place, but he'll be a lot happier and therefore putting out a different vibe. Being around someone who hates their job (especially someone who isn't doing anything to change that) can be a real energy suck and just isn't attractive, so if something in your life isn't working - be it your work/career, lifestyle, habits and so on, you have to get yourself into gear and do what you can to change it. It will very likely alter your approach and attitudes to relationships and dating. And in your 30's…..well this is the time to get to the core of all of this and take responsibility!

Comparing is pointless

Yep, another one I'm sometimes guilty of doing! It's true, many of my friends are married, have kids and all that. And you know, when your friends tell you 'how amazing' their husbands are or when you're supposed to be out for drinks, the conversation never fails to turn to an account of their baby getting it's first tooth, the endless pictures etc…you smile and make all the right noises, but really it's irritating you or killing you because you can't relate to that (and maybe want to). Plus you've probably had the digital lowdown on Facebook already and seen the same pictures tagged 'amazing weekend with my gorgeous little family', which doesn't help in the throws of comparison either.

But you know what, I have just as many friends who are single too. A few are in mediocre relationships because that's safer for them. And a handful are in the process of, or have gotten divorced. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather take my time and wait for the right person than go through all that emotional and financial hassle. We tend to focus on noticing the things that we lack but what others have, rather than seeing the overall picture.

The thing is, none of that really matters anyway when it comes to you.

People are other people; they're not you. Comparing yourself to others is going to lead to feelings of envy or jealousy and no good can come of that. Unless you can channel that in a positive way, which would be seeing something in others that you want to work towards having in your own life - but not feeling bitterness or disappointment because of it.

I will admit, being shoved photos in my face of other people's children on a night out isn't my idea of a fabulous time but it's a big thing for those people, which I understand and I love to see them happy. I don't get riddled with anxiety because of it because I'm pretty happy in my own life. All that is eventually something for my future and I'm content with that.

(My friend Lucy bases her entire coaching around getting over the comparison trap so if this is something you're struggling with, I definitely suggest you check her out.)

If you know what you want, be bold about that!

There are a ton of self-empowering articles out there on being single, and that's great. But there's also nothing wrong with wanting to settle down. If you want the marriage, a family then that's awesome and something you need to keep in mind when you are dating. I think sometimes we can tell ourselves that we're not bothered about all of that and maybe want to be perceived as the guy/girl who is 'cool to go with the flow and whatever' or the person who is all about the career or travel. And obviously that's fine too if you want that. But if you are after something serious then be bold about it and don't waste your time with people who don't! You definitely don't want to go on every first date bringing up conversations about wedding venues and first dance songs, but don't invest your time and energy with people who clearly want something different just for the sake of being with someone.

Don't make dating a separate project from everything else in your life

I think we can look at dating as something completely separate from our day-to-day life - like there's our life and then our 'dating life'. The more pressure you put on it the more it will just become draining and a hassle. Dating should really just be an enhancement to your life. This is why it's so important you er…still live your life. Not from a place of lack but using being single as an opportunity (and to be able to do all those things your married with kids mates moan they can't do!) The more active your life is the more people you'll meet, the more interesting you'll become, the more attractive you'll be and the more chance you'll have of attracting a great partner and having choices. Not just relying on dating apps, sites and singles nights. Mix it up so that it becomes more natural - an integrated part of your life. Put yourself in places where you'll always be meeting new people.

Remember, it's completely fine to feel these anxieties - we all feel them now and again. Don't let the stress get the better of you because that will radiate from you when you do go on dates and you don't want dating to turn into an interview process. It is supposed to be fun! You can have that balance of going with the flow but with intention.

Being single at any age is completely normal and there’s nothing wrong with it. If all your friends are married/in relationships then do things to make some new ones so that you're not constantly surrounded by it. Turn your anxiety into a positive - know what you want and mould your life (and yourself) into something that will allow that in instead of just worrying about it but doing nothing. Try to relax, because you are where you are and that's fine! Do things and be around people who help you see that it's a great place to be and use it to your advantage :)

I'd love to hear any thoughts you have on this!