New Podcast Episode - Ellen Huerta of Mend

Wow, nearly the end of January!! How has your year started? I hope you're doing well :)

I just wanted to very quickly let you know that I have a brand new episode of Let's Talk Heartbreak up with the fabulous Ellen Huerta of Mend!

Mend is an app (there's a website too with tons of inspirational articles and interviews) that's essentially like a personal trainer for heartbreak. It's been created to guide people through their breakup where every day you get sent audio trainings, activities to try and thoughts to consider. It's fantastic and I highly recommend it if you're struggling.

Make sure you listen in HERE - Ellen and I chat and offer advice around breakups, dealing with heartbreak and how to create transformation coming out the other side.

I hope you enjoy! 💖

Laura xx

What I do when I'm Feeling Down

Image taken by Hey Saturday

Hi all,

I hope you are doing well :)

This post is a little lower key and less advice driven than most but I still hope it helps you. As I want to start mixing my posts up with a combination of advice and lifestyle I thought it might be nice to share a few of my go-to things that I turn to when I’ve either be going through some kind of heartbreak or when I’m just feeling down - because it happens to us all! Yes, even me, a heartbreak coach ;)

Any time I find myself in a slump or going through a rough time, these things always help me to come back to myself and give me the pep up I need to know that everything is going to be ok.

Exercise

Not the most groundbreaking one to start with. Actually, none of these are particularly groundbreaking but they are all what I genuinely do.

I've had a pretty rocky year when it comes to my health (nothing crazy serious but it has definitely impacted my life in a few areas and luckily, I’m on the up now but it’s a process!) Unfortunately, exercise had to take a back burner. I have always defined myself as a gym enthusiast - I've consistently loved working out for both health and aesthetic reasons and not being able to exercise really got me down in the earlier part of the year. So, when I felt a little more energised, I started just walking 5km a day at a gentle pace. I use a free app on my iPhone called ‘Steps’ to er…..track my steps :) Getting outside walking was simple and didn't feel like the 'exercise' I was used to, but had an immense impact on my mindset.

I did this for a couple of months to build up my stamina and now I’m working in some gentle HITT training about 3 times a week and yoga (I have an AMAZING yoga episode coming up on the podcast by the way!). This exercise combo really makes me feel good. You can definitely apply this 'slowly but surely' approach to exercise if you're going through some kind of heartbreak and don't have the energy to launch into something too full on.

When I was going through my last breakup, I worked with a personal trainer and I can safely say that exercise was one of the things that was my emotional and mental life saver. Plus it made me feel more confident in how I looked. So get outside. Walk. Run. Do weights. Dance (I love this one too – spontaneous dance offs are the best!) Do whatever you want. Don’t buy into what you think you ‘should' do. Do what works for you. Just move.

Collagen Eye Masks

I’ve always maintained a keen interest in beauty/skincare but I've really gotten into it again this year. I found these collagen eye masks via Lauryn at The Skinny Confidential and they are the ultimate ride or die after a rough night’s sleep or when you’ve been crying and need something to give a puffy face a much needed pick-me-up. They’re cheap as chips and you can buy them here off amazon.

Chaps, I’m fairly sure you can use these as well ;)

Podcasts 

Usually while walking I’ll put on a podcast. I mix them up between humour, self development, business and of course, dating/relationships ;) Listening to a good podcast never fails to give me the motivation, laughs or inspiration I need if I’ve been feeling down.

Some of my favourites include The Bitch Bible, That’s So Retrograde, The School of Greatness, Tim Ferris, The James Altucher Show, Love, Alexi, OMFG!, Love is Like a Plant, The Great Love Debate and Girlboss Radio.

And of course, my podcast Let’s Talk Heartbreak is one you should listen to too if you’re looking for advice and inspirational stories about heartbreak, breakups, love, dating and relationships ;)

Giving Myself Time to just ‘Be’

So often when we’re experiencing situations, emotions and feelings that are painful, frustrating, stressful, uncomfortable, heart and gut-wrenching, we don’t allow ourselves to just experience them and end up 100 x times more worked up. Just taking some time to sit, breathe and accept what we’re feeling is a huge way to let those feelings move through us. The yoga podcast episode I mentioned earlier REALLY delves into this from an expert’s perspective, so stay tuned for that.

Music

I LOVE listening to music, especially when exercising or when I’m doing bits and pieces around the house. I'm one of those annoying people who are into 'everything'. But I really am. Old, modern, ska, pop, reggae, hip hop, musical theatre, rock - I love it all. I’ve also really gotten into Latin music at the moment. It’s an instant feel good!

Reading

It probably won’t come as any surprise but you’ll usually find me hanging out in the self-help section of bookshops and my kindle library is also highly representative of this. I’m trying to mix up what I read lately as I find a good fiction novel is the ideal form of escapism and gives the creative part of my brain a chance to work it’s muscles. Imagination is an incredible tool at our disposal that we don’t use nearly enough. Tuning into our imagination (outside of using it to conjure up ridiculous ways to get back with/get back at our ex of course) can be a superb way to channel what we’re feeling into something more productive, positive or helpful.

Some book recommendations include A Tap on The Window by Linwood Barclay (I adore a crime thriller), A Wrinkle In Time (a fantastic before-bed book), and How to Build A Girl (hilarious yet poignant). I’m also a fan of anything by Lindsey Kelk. Fun-read chick lit at it’s best. Some self-help ones that have really made a difference to my life and how I view the world or go about things are Attached, The 5 Love Languages, Single is the New Black (by past podcast guest Dr Karin!) The Truth – An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships. The Richest Man in Babylon and Emotional First Aid.

Making time to speak with friends and loved ones

Spending too much time in your own head can be toxic for the body and mind. When you make time to speak to people who you feel good around, who mean a lot to you and who you probably mean a lot to also, it’s a huge pick me up. Even if you don’t feel like it, call someone.

TV Shows

I can’t deny that my Netflix subscription has truly sung for it’s supper this year. Most things I’ve watched have really tapped into that element of escapism I just mentioned, fired up my brain in some way or simply, made me laugh. (Laughing is a big deal when it comes to healing!) I do just make sure I limit my watching time. A few shows I’ve enjoyed are My Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Love, Flaked (though everyone else seemed to think it was pretty terrible!) The Returned (the original was better however), Stranger Things (I’ve jumped on the bandwagon), Orphan Black and I Am Not Your Guru - the Tony Robbins documentary. Onto Narcos next, I’ve heard great things!

Red lipstick

A hugely superficial one but it works nonetheless! My mum was gifted a to-die-for red YSL lipstick at Christmas, which she was forever allowing me to borrow. So this year on my birthday she bought me my own and I love it. There’s something about rocking a red lip that makes you feel amazing. The shade is 16 and it’s called Rouge Pur Couture.

If there’s something be it makeup, clothes, shoes, accessories that make you feel instantly incredible but that you only save for special occasions, wear them anyway! Why not?!

There are many others I could share too but I just thought I would experiment first with a post like this to see if you enjoy it or find it helpful in some way :)

Laura xx

Latest Podcast with Natasha Adamo of Post Male Syndrome

One of the reasons why I LOVE doing the podcast is that I get to connect and speak to such incredible people. Natasha Adamo is absolutely no exception and it was an honour to have her on Let's Talk Heartbreak. Natasha runs the site Post Male Syndrome, which also focuses in on breakups, relationships, self-awareness, heartbreak as well as health, beauty and self-care. Her advice and wisdom is sensational and Natasha and I hash out SO many things that if you're going through heartbreak and/or a breakup, listening to this will really offer comfort and value.

All in all, this episode is full of solid gold gems :)

You can listen in here on iTunes - please don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you're enjoying Let's Talk Heartbreak. Not only would it mean the world to me but it gets it out and listened to by even more people.

You're gonna love this one! 💞

Laura xx

Heartbreak, Dating & Finding Purpose with Social Media Influencer and Comedian Madeleine Byrne

I've just got back from an amazing trip to LA (whole post on that coming soon!) and whilst I was there, I recorded a podcast with social media influencer, comedian and actress Madeleine Byrne.

If you're not familiar with Madeleine, she makes really funny and entertaining videos on instagram, many of which touch on dating, online dating and life in general - stuff we can basically all relate to!

Check out the episode on iTunes here http://apple.co/296DgJJ

....and on Soundcloud here

I loved recording this with Madeleine and we spoke about so many topics - heartbreak, dating, dating in LA, the entertainment industry, being an introvert, being an only child, the importance of friendship and human connection, beauty and loads more.

If you like what you hear, please don’t forget to subscribe and write a review on iTunes! I'd be SO grateful!

Hope you enjoy it!

I have loads of posts coming up for you all over the next few days so stay tuned :)

Laura x

2015 Reflections - Love, Life & Work!

Image taken by Saskia of Saturday Nights Alright

I think like most people, I’m struggling to believe that 2016 is here! So, I thought it would be nice to write something a bit reflective about 2015 because…. well, a lot has happened!

So here goes.

Love

Ahh the L word. I tell you what, coaching people through break-ups is a sure fire way to make sure you’re working on your own stuff at the same time. It’s amazing when I work with people how the things we talk about and go over are often the things I need to make sure I continue to do and remember too. Anyway, 2015 was the year that I feel I properly got my head and heart in a good place again. So high five to me on that. That’s not to say that things don’t come up every now and then, but that’s life and I don’t think it’s possible get to a point where you’re completely clued up. Plus, wouldn’t that be boring?!

2015 was the year that I dated quite a lot. I thought I ‘fell’ for someone earlier in the year - that didn’t work out but I can definitely see that it was always supposed to happen that way. It taught me about what to look out for in future and didn’t end badly or sadly in any way. So that’s nice. And now I can see I didn’t fall for him at all, he was just the first person I really liked after my last relationship and I strongly believe that was the purpose of it happening. It also helped me become more resilient because I feel I saw the reality on that a lot quicker than I might have done as the ‘old’ me.

I’ve dated other guys too and met some really interesting people! I dated whilst in the US and that was an experience! I’ve made a few friends through my dating escapades so it just goes to show that dating can lead to friendship if it doesn’t work out. I have to admit, there have been some funny experiences in the mix too and I feel really lucky to have met some of the people I have. And in the ways I have.

So, right now, there is no one special person in my life but this is exactly how I wanted it to be as to be honest, I really haven’t wanted to be in a relationship this year. It’s always tough knowing the right balance between being open to meeting people and allowing things to develop whilst keeping sight of your main goals if they’re not relationship orientated. So maybe there have been times where I haven’t been as open to love as what I should or could have been, but I’m a strong believer in the fact that you can have it all - just sometimes, not all at the same time. But who knows what could change for 2016 ;)

Life

This is where the biggest changes have happened. This year I’ve pushed myself out of so many comfort zones and despite being sh** scared through many of them, I have truly learnt that nothing good comes from staying inside your comfort zone, especially if you want to make change. I’ve taken risks that have paid off and led to amazing opportunities and have used my ‘vision’, I suppose, as my motivator to keep pushing myself. Some examples include travelling alone, doing talks (getting up in front of people and talking made me want.to.die. Much less so now though and I’m starting to enjoy it!), getting myself in front of a camera (soon to be released on YouTube), putting a podcast together, making connections with people who I’d never have dreamed I’d have been able to connect with, and going on dates with people who I would probably have never met if it wasn't for travelling and trying out new things. It’s crazy the stories we tell ourselves and how we let those hold us back. I now always say to myself that if I consider doing something but feel scared to do it, I have to do it. (Providing it’s safe and legal of course!) And sometimes, these things don’t always end in the way you might want them too. But those experiences teach you what you need to learn, improve, step up in or just persevere at.

There are many ways I want my life to change in 2016. I want to find more time to do the things I love to do and try out even more things, I want to spend a few months in the US and I 100% want to create time to pursue my passion of music and creative writing. I want to focus much more on my health to ensure I have the energy to do all of these things.

Of course, life hasn’t been all hunky comfort zone pushing dory in 2015 but I won’t dwell on those moments because I still feel that they provide experiences to learn from. Life is never ever going to be perfect and 2015 fully deserved to end on a high!

Work

I honestly don’t see what I do as ‘work’ because it gives me so much joy to help people in the way that I do. Aside from that, I have made the most amazing and inspiring friends in the wonderful and often weird world of dating and am lucky to collaborate with many of those too. Each and every client I have worked with I feel so much appreciation for and have LOVED coaching them. To have been on podcasts like Entrepreneur on Fire, Elite Man Magazine, OMFG! and shows like Hoxton Radio have been such a highlight. Oh! And I was a finalist for Dating Expert of the Year at the UK Dating Awards. I never thought any of those would have happened this time last year.

And what’s coming up for this year? Well, I feel it’s about time I er...get with the times and get my mug on YouTube so expect some videos (and please try and be kind if you do watch them!) and I’m launching a podcast called Let’s Talk Heartbreak where I talk about the empowering, inspiring, funny, entertaining or thought provoking things people have done or learnt through heartbreak and break-ups. Plus some thoughts and advice from yours truly. I’m launching 3 products including an online programme guiding you through getting over a break-up and a group coaching programme. I’ll be collaborating with some superb people and companies and travelling more. You’ll be seeing a lot more of ‘me’ this year as I really want to share more of my life, personality, passions and interests in my content too. So you can definitely expect a whole lot more in 2016. I’m both nervous and excited!

What’s really made 2015 so incredible is people. Making new friends, creating stronger bonds with old friends and being blown away by the kindness of some of the people I have around me. Some of whom I haven’t even met in real life! These people have acted as mentors, motivators and friends all rolled into one and I’m eternally grateful for them.

So this year, I also want to try and give back more.

I’m excited to help even more people through their break-ups and dating lives in 2016 and hope that all the ways I’m stepping up my content will enable me to reach even more people in that way too. So keep an eye out for updates :)

And finally, thank you so so much for all of your support and encouragement in 2015 - it’s really meant a lot. And now, let’s look forward to 2016!

Lots of love,

Laura xx