How to Deal with Energy Suckers

Image source https://www.flickr.com/photos/mara_earthlight/

I thought it would be useful to write a series of blog posts that have come as questions from clients I’m coaching and mentoring. The first big one that has come up many times in sessions is how to protect yourself from people that suck your energy. This is a really interesting one and something I have explored and experienced a lot over the past few years. I’m also seeing tons of articles and blog posts on it right now so must be on people’s minds!

So, here are my thoughts.

Energy is a powerful thing - especially when it comes to people. I bet most of you have been in a situation where someone you’re around just seems to drain all your energy? They might not be a bad person but you just feel exhausted after spending time with them. You can be the most positive person in the world but if you’re around people who sap your energy, it can be a really tough experience to get your head round and manage.

Some people pick up on energy easier than others. I can literally feel it stick to me. Some places I can go and just feel so uneasy because of the energy. Or the opposite! And this is the same with people. Some people have such an amazing energy that you feel so uplifted in their presence and sometimes, you don’t even know why. Whilst you might think that dealing with negative energy and people is something you have to just put up with, there are actually a couple things you can do to protect yourself. I do these a lot - they’re subtle but effective!

1) Put on your armour. Not literally - that might be a bit too obvious But if you can feel bad energy in a place or are around someone who is trying to impose it on you, imagine you’re being physically protected - this could be armour, a light or a barrier. Anything that stops the energy physically touching you. I know this might sound totally bonkers but it works and is also really useful if you’re in a situation where you feel slightly at risk or intimidated. Not that you should ever look to get in those situations, but they can happen. It’s amazing how people pick up on it without even realising what you’re doing and back off.

2) It’s a massive buzz kill when you’re being positive and happy about something and someone swoops in to stamp all over it - or as we English like to say, they piss all over your parade. Especially if this is someone close to you. In this situation, it’s important to recognise whether they’re being negative for the sake of it - or trying to offer you their constructive opinion. Someone can say something that you might not want to hear but with good energy and intention - thus making it a positive conversation. When they’re just putting a downer on you, you can protect yourself by knowing that this is only a reflection of themselves. They can’t deal with how they’re feeling so push that onto you. Be polite but don’t take notice and gently but firmly close the conversation. Keep your energy light and again, whip on your armour! If you’re going to be with them for a long period of time, find somewhere quiet that you can escape to for a couple of minutes and just breathe it out. You can also send them positive energy without even saying anything - just imagine you’re sending out good energy to help them and that will be enough. Then go back to them and move on from what you were talking about.

With people like this, it’s wise to not get too emotionally invested. I’m not saying to not care about them or support them but recognise when they’re imposing bad feeling onto you for no real purpose. You have the right to close that conversation.

3) Keep grounded and strong. If you’re physical and emotional strength is solid, you won’t be as susceptible to the people sucking the life out of you. I was taught a great little technique that you can use when you feel uneasy or unsure about something and this was to imagine that I was a tree and could feel my roots lengthening and going deeper and deeper into the ground. Again, it sounds a bit woo woo, pretending you’re a tree and all, but just by consciously feeling grounded, you become more assertive and less influenced energy-wise by what people are throwing at you.

I really hope these tips are helpful. There are many more which involves energy cleansing and I might talk about these in another post but I wanted to keep this one as practical as possible. If you have any more ideas on how to keep those energy vampires at bay, I’d love to hear!