It’s OK to not be Serious!

I felt drawn to write this because although it’s something I’m personally experiencing at the moment, I think many of us come up against it fairly frequently.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been in the process of writing a few guest posts for other sites and blogs - the topics of which vary between the areas that I coach and mentor in - so relationships, careers and confidence. As someone who helps people overcome challenges and navigate their way through situations that aren’t serving them, there is a responsibility and seriousness that comes with that. When people put their trust and faith in you as a coach or mentor, that’s not to be taken lightly! And I do take it very seriously.

But what I’ve struggled with - particularly in the writing work that I do is feel able to show that other side of my personality…which isn’t so serious! My humour is totally daft, I sometimes swear, I get really silly after too many glasses of wine, I laugh at inappropriate things and yes, it has been known for me to say inappropriate things too. (Though I obviously keep this at bay during my coaching!)

As an example of how this issue has come up, I’ve been writing a post for a dating site. The post is a massive shift away from what I’ve previously put on my own blog but it’s still the authentic me and very reflective of the more lighthearted side of my personality. But whilst I wrote it, I was getting caught up thinking things like ‘well this doesn’t sound very spiritual!‘ and ‘I don’t sound very professional‘ and ‘is it acceptable to even say this?!‘ But it was liberating to write something fun and less serious. It was still real. Just different from my usual stuff!

I spoke to someone about how I was feeling about this and she said ‘Laura, your work is all about helping people to be their real selves. Everyone has different sides to their personality and to enable people to get a real sense of you, they’ll want to see all those sides!’ I then realised that I was falling into the trap of thinking I needed to be seen as completely professional, spiritual and totally wholesome when it comes to my work and blog. But really, it’s the different shades of my personality that people actually want to see, am I right? My work as a coach and mentor isn’t a job where I need to wear my ‘professional’ hat from 9am - 5pm. I don’t see my work as a job - it’s my passion and purpose and I want people to get a real sense of who I am. But just because being spiritual, compassionate, aiming to live at my highest self and placing priority on a mindful, healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean I can’t have a slightly sarcastic sense of humour and enjoy a few vinos with it!

When it comes to my work as a coach and mentor, I must stress again that I take it incredibly seriously. The people I work with are my passion and get my absolute all from that professional perspective. But I do think (or hope!) that my overall personality and humour is what also makes people enjoy working with me - because they can see that I’m being real and that I think enables them to trust me more.

Maybe this post is actually a bit self-indulgent, which I wanted to avoid when I started writing it! But I think the message that I want to put over is that you shouldn’t feel trapped to be seen as one thing or in one specific way. What makes us so unique and dynamic is that nobody else on this vast planet has our personality - and all the crazy, colourful and mystical layers that’s made up of. There will often be times and places where some parts of your personality have to be on display more than others, of course. We all have to wear many hats and that’s fine and normal! But I think especially for people who do come from a more spiritual and soulful way of living, it can be easy to worry that everything we say or do won’t come across as such. Being spiritual and soulful means something different to everyone and it’s actually all those different parts of your personality that embody your spiritual essence in your own unique way.

So I think the moral of this post is to not be afraid to be totally real or think that you have to be just one thing. Show all those silly, crazy and fabulous sides of your personality!

Oh, and maybe look out for some of those less serious posts on my blog soon 😉