Dealing with Loneliness After a Breakup
One of the most difficult parts of going through a breakup is actually the part where everything settles. The drama and shock is done with, we’ve over talked (and over analysed!) every detail and we’ve been forced to accept that the relationship is dead in the water. It’s tough. This is now the new reality and it all seems so….empty and oppressing.
I know something that I contended with and something so many people that I work with find challenging too, is adjusting to what’s essentially a new life as an individual. When we’re in a couple it can be so easy to become a unit. Their friends become our friends, we immerse ourselves in their interests maybe at the expense of our own or we become so into being a couple that we both neglect our worlds outside of each other. So then when we come out of the relationship, it brutally slaps us in the face that we don’t have much of a social life and our passions, goals and interests are definitely lacklustre or maybe even non-existent.
Being social is a huge antidote to getting over a breakup despite it often being the last thing we want to do. Partly because with that comes acceptance that the relationship is over but also, it can seem harder to make friends as we get older. Kids are naturals but as adults, hmm, not so much. It feels weird, awkward and really daunting to get out there and strike up friendships with people. Where do you start? How do you not come across as a complete weirdo? Where do you even go to find people that you get on with? It’s kind of ironic that many of us speak to people we don’t know everyday online but when it comes to doing that in person, it’s a different animal!
But you know what, it’s so important to remember that there are people who feel the exact way as you do. As humans we crave connection. We’re not meant to hibernate and isolate ourselves and the danger of doing this too much after a breakup is that it completely prolongs the whole ‘getting over it’ part because we don’t have other people around us to give us a positive distraction, new memories and probably, some real talk! Also, loneliness (which some call the invisible epidemic) can cause mental and physical disorders. It’s a real thing and can become a serious health risk if it becomes chronic.
People complain a lot these days that social media, apps and the world of online means that we’re losing the ability to interact and connect as humans but there are many companies out there who are using the internet to try and combat this feeling of loneliness that so many of us feel. Badoo.com is one - it’s a site that simply connects people. Not just for dating - you can use it to make friends, share interests but yes - you can date on there too if you want to!
If you feel it’s hard to make new friends or connections in your local area, using sites like Badoo or similar are a great way to get out there and mingle. The people you chat to and meet will be on there for the same reason as you and as soon as you start becoming more social, I guarantee the feeling of sadness, depression and rejection from a breakup will begin to alleviate. The longer you leave it the harder it will be, so make a commitment to yourself that this will be a huge step forwards in getting over your breakup. It will build your confidence, let your mind catch a break and introduce you to things and people you would never have met otherwise! Give it a shot 🙂
Laura x