What I’ve Learned about Love & Relationships

Here are few thoughts that I’ve put together -:

- Being in a relationship is not the be all and end all. The famous Jerry Maguire quote ‘you complete me‘, it’s really not true! Someone else can’t be held responsible for your own happiness and completeness. They can bring out the best in you and enhance your life but they can’t make it.

- If you have a checklist of all the things you want in a partner and the values you want them to have, you need to make sure that you are all of these things too.

- Then again, don’t get caught up with checklists of ‘must-haves’. Be open-minded.

- Asking someone to change and asking them to compromise are two completely different things.

- But you have to be prepared to compromise too.

- It’s not all about looks. Ultimately, when it comes to a relationship, men are most attracted to the girls who go out feeling comfortable in what they’re wearing, who they can connect with, have a laugh and fun with and who they feel at ease with. Yes some may initially get caught up with the flawless beauty or the busty glamazon but beyond that physical attraction, if there’s no connection there after a conversation/one night stand/date, they’ll be quick to move on. Your worth isn’t in your appearance but who you are and what you stand for. That’s attractive! Feeling good on the outside is important too of course and will probably make you feel more confident but know that love isn’t ALL about that.

- Love is understanding and honouring each other’s needs and goals - even if these are different sometimes.

- Love is listening and hearing. Really hearing.

- A good relationship is about being on the same team. Not about drama and conflict.

- If your relationship is either totally amazing or infuriatingly stressful and there doesn’t seem to be any middle ground, the two of you are probably not the best fit. Don’t rely on drama to maintain spark in the relationship.

- Love is when you feel crap or feel like you look crap but then they look at you like you’re the only person in the world and you don’t feel so crap anymore.

- You set the standards of what you get in a relationship. If you accept being treated badly, this is what you will always get.

- Love is being fine with each having your own lives.

- Be aware of how men’s minds work! Men have this great ability of acting like a filter. In a conversation we can talk to (or at!) them for 40 minutes and somehow they’re able to pick out the most important bits to navigate the conversation forward or immediately ask the right questions that get to the heart of what we really want to say. They prefer direct conversation. They’re also not mind readers. So you have to be honest and don’t play games assuming that he’ll catch on if you say something is ‘ok’ but really isn’t!

- Communication is one of the most important things. You both have to be open and honest. It’s not about having deep and meaningful conversations all the time but communication shut down is often what leads to the downfall of a relationship.

- A great relationship is one where you’re at your best as an individual. You’re taking care of yourself emotionally and physically, striving for your goals and not neglecting any of this to keep the other person happy.

- If someone doesn’t love you anymore, you can’t make them.

- Love is when you’re both still able to laugh together no matter what.

- Love is when you don’t know what to do or say to make them feel better but you’re there and so that’s ok.

There are plenty more where they came from so do you have any more to add? Leave a comment below if so, I’d love to hear!

xx