Knowing how to navigate moving out of the home you share with your ex following a breakup can be incredibly overwhelming. Thinking logically and practically whilst also going through the myriad of emotions can really take its toll.
This guest post walks you through the steps on how to find a new home post breakup; minimising the stress that can come along with it.
After a tough breakup, one of the last things you feel ready to tackle is finding a new home.
And not just because it’s emotionally difficult to move out of a space you shared with a partner. Finding housing, deciding whether to rent or buy, furnishing your new space - it’s all logistically exhausting, not to mention expensive.
But the thing is...at some point, it’ll have to be done. And once you’re in that new space, you’ll have a clean slate on which to create new memories, new friendships, new patterns, and new relationships.
With that in mind, here are 4 practical tips for finding a new home after a breakup.
Don’t let your emotions do the driving.
When you’re hurting, it can be hard to keep your emotions from getting involved in the decision-making.
Maybe you always dreamt of having a home complete with a white picket fence, or one that was in a certain historic part of town, or had dormer windows like you remember from your childhood home.
If you can find a new home like this that’s in your price range, go for it! But that’s the key: it has to be in your price range.
It’s all too tempting, especially when we’re reeling from a major life change like a breakup, to convince ourselves that we can spend just a bit more than we know we should. While you might get some fleeting, surface-level happiness from being in your over-budget dream home for a month or two, the stress and anxiety of spending more per month than you can afford will eat away at your joy for a whole lot longer.
Mortgage and rent calculators can be a useful tool to show you how much home you can actually afford.
Be open to both renting and buying.
Just because you were planning on buying a home by the time you turned (insert your age here!), doesn’t mean that that plan still fits you.
After a breakup, it’s important to explore all your options when it comes to housing - even if that means staying with your parents or a friend for a few weeks while you figure out the next step.
In some cases and some markets, renting will make more sense for you, even if you previously owned a home.
Renting vs buying depends on a lot of factors, from how much you have saved, to whether you have the time to spend on home maintenance. You’ll need to decide what you’re comfortable with based on your unique, beautiful situation.
Consult with an expert.
There’s nothing like getting professional advice when you’re trying to make a big decision, especially if it’s one that you feel trepidation about making alone.
A great advisor or real estate agent can be a major asset, not only in helping you actually find your new home, but also in helping you narrow down suitable locations, decide whether renting or owning makes more sense and figuring out the ins and outs of getting a mortgage, home inspection, etc.
Take care of yourself.
Searching for a new place to live after you’ve been living with a partner can be heart-wrenching. It’s easy to feel as though you’re starting over from square one.
But while you are starting over, you’re definitely not at square one. You’ve taken another step in evolving into who you are meant to be. Honour those difficult feelings you’re having, while also recognising the growth that’s you’re going through by spending time doing the things that nourish your soul.
Finding a new home after a breakup is hard, but you can absolutely do it. By not letting your emotions make financial decisions, getting help when you need it, and caring for yourself throughout the process, you’ll be well on your way to creating a home that speaks to you—the amazing, beautiful person that you’re just getting to know again.