Hi there! It’s been a while since I’ve been on the blog and social media as have been focused on working with clients, but after everything that’s been going on in the world, I really wanted to connect with you.
I don’t know about you (I’m sure you feel the same) but living in this time of coronavirus has certainly thrown me through somewhat of a loop. I spent the first few days when things really escalated here in the UK glued to the news to check in on updates and whilst I like to be aware and informed, it ultimately created more overwhelm and anxiety. I’ve therefore detached a little, trying to focus on my wellbeing, not getting too immersed in any of the fear-mongering and planning ahead with a positive mindset. Whilst still being cautious and sensible of course.
One tip I have for you, is to be especially mindful of what media you’re consuming. Whilst we all want to keep on top of the major updates, it’s important to set limits and avoid spending all our time getting too sucked in to the bad news and scary statistics that only serve to fuel anxiety and fear. This goes for social media too - be diligent of how much you’re scrolling and how that’s making you feel. Fill your feed with messages of empowerment, optimism and creativity.
I know we could all do with some positivity and ways to use the time we’re spending in isolation consciously and productively. So, I thought I would share some ideas and resources. All of which I’m implementing myself.
1) Get dressed and ‘ready’ for the day. I’ve been working from home for around 10 years now and I can’t stress how much it improves my day when I put on a good outfit and do my hair and makeup. It changes your physiology and mindset completely.
2) Learn something new. I’m signed up to Duolingo learning Spanish and also signing up for a few courses on Udemy and FutureLearn. Many of these are free. It’s important to keep your brain as engaged as possible and learning something new rewires those old neural pathways.
3) Find creative ways to date! Whilst dating as we knew it is on hold, all is not lost! It’s about getting creative. Set up FaceTime dinner, drink or coffee dates. Take inspiration from Love Is Blind (so addictive right?!) and practice fine-tuning your communication skills to get the most out of conversations. Netflix is also offering a ‘watch together’ feature, meaning people in two different locations can watch the same film or show together.
Here’s someone who has got it right! I love love love this thread on Twitter by Nina Sawetz! https://twitter.com/nina_future/status/1240257957050437632)
(Thanks to Saskia for bringing my attention to this!)
4) How to navigate relationships during the coronavirus. My favourite relationship expert Esther Perel in this NY Times article says that couples will need to be mindful of the different ways in which they process and react to crisis. We can’t deny that all relationships will be tested, and many will come out stronger for that.
5) How to deal with a breakup and reaching out to your ex. The urge to contact your ex might be heightened right now as it’s a particularly triggering time. Ultimately that is an individual choice and there is no right or wrong thing to do. However, I encourage you before you reach out, to carefully assess how this could impact your mental health. The current coronavirus situation doesn’t change what happened or went wrong to cause the breakup. Your ex won’t have changed as a result of it. It’s wise to be even more cautious of contact because if your ex reacts (or doesn’t react) in a way that causes you stress or anxiety, being in self-isolation can exacerbate this feeling.
Those reasons that led the relationship to break down still exist. Is there a friend or family member that you can talk to instead when you’re tempted to call or text your ex? Someone who can help you see a new perspective? Really try and intercept that old thought pattern and habit and although it feels painful and often heartbreaking, follow up with a different action. This is the only way to truly break the cycle and create the distance you need.
This quiet time that you have although feels uncomfortable, is a chance to really take care of your mental and emotional health when it comes to your ex and to use social distancing to your advantage.
6) Read. Here is my library list over the past year or so. It’s a small portion of what I have read but might give you some inspiration! I’m hugely into psychological thrillers (it appeases my inner criminal psychologist!) and anything by Marian Keyes for soul-soothing humour, but do read non-fiction regularly too. The reason why I mainly opt for fiction is to enable my brain to switch gears and get engrossed in a juicy plot. Some might advise that you steer clear of reading or watching anything that isn’t upbeat but you do YOU!
Some of my top non-fiction books include -:
- The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron
- The Power of your Subconscious Mind – Dr Joseph Murphy
- Big Magic – Elizabeth Gilbert
- I Love You And I’m Leaving Anyway – Tracy McMillan
- The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
And I have to give the book Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine a mention too. Probably the best book I read in 2019.
7) Rewire and heal. Having this quiet time is a huge opportunity for working through old subconscious beliefs that are negatively impacting your emotional and physical health. Whilst you’re out of your regular routine, it’s an optimal time to start. This week, I’m going to create a free resource for you on the steps you can take to do this!
8) Pamper yourself. At home spa day - yes please! Not only is this soothing but taking care of yourself shows your subconscious that you feel worthy and deserving of feeling good.
9) Laugh! Whilst the coronavirus is something to be taken very seriously, it’s important to find humour in our everyday. Laughing strengthens the immune system and is crucial for wellbeing and vitality. One of my favourite accounts to check out is Jackie Schimmel and her podcast The Bitch Bible. If you’re in the UK, Vic and Bob - especially their old material, are who I turn to when I need a really good laugh (though they’re an acquired humour - you either love ‘em or hate ‘em) and anything by Chris Lilley. I’m rewatching Lunatics right now - again, not for everyone but works for me! Just find something to make you laugh and see how much better you feel - even if it is momentarily.
10) Keep active at home. Here are some of my go-tos -:
TIP: If you are loyal to your local yoga/Pilates/fitness class, reach out to your teachers and see if they are offering Zoom or Skype classes. I know many are in my local area.
11) Sign up for a challenge. There are some lovely art focused ones here -:
https://mymodernmet.com/coronavirus-quarantine-art-club/
A nice writing one here -:
https://www.scribendi.com/advice/30_day_writing_challenge.en.html
And a mindfulness one here -:
https://mindfulnessexercises.com/free-online-mindfulness-courses/28-day-mindfulness-challenge/
Mend also has some fantastic online classes that I highly recommend: https://classes.letsmend.com/
12) Sort out your wardrobe. Prepare for your comeback in style! Clearing out your wardrobe and committing to only keeping things that you feel fantastic in and that fit you, will help remove any stagnancy you feel in this area. None of us are going to be out socialising much or probably buying as many clothes so it’s also a nice way to experiment with styling your existing pieces differently. I love Lauryn Messiah on IG and Laura Blair on YouTube for style tips!
13) To Watch. Take some time to watch this YouTube video with Aubrey Marcus and Joe Dispenza on creating the future you want. It’s powerful.
14) Take care of YOU. I bet there’s been a time in your life where you craved time alone, to be able to operate in your day to day with a slower pace? Now is that time. Everyone is in the same boat so there’s no FOMO to be had and it really is an opportunity to focus on you and all pillars of your health. Rest, recuperate, recharge, eat well, hydrate, meditate, journal, set up that business, retrain your brain to change the old ‘DVD’, connect with loved ones via Skype or FaceTime, workout, sleep and get things done that will lead to a sense of accomplishment.
If you need extra support, I’m offering discounts on my 1:1 coaching during this time of self-isolation, so please reach out to me on laurayatescoaching@gmail.com and we can talk it through.
It’s all going to be ok and try to keep in mind that this is temporary. It will get better. For now, let’s do what we can with what we have.
Please do share any tips you have in the comments! Let’s all be there for each other.
Love,
Laura x